I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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