I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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