MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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