nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
