just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
whose parrot is this?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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