Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
