Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
