similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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