Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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