I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
