I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
