Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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