i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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