But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
