I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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