my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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