I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He passed out mid-signature
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
