Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
