and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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