Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
