Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think I am morally bankrupt
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.