the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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