I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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