yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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