I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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