I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
