We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
