seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
