At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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