im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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