i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
