I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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