What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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