it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I touched a dick in church today
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.