it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon