Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My vagina just recognized that song.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
