Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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