some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
