quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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