Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
MIDGETS
????
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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