When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
high people should be assigned attendants
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
