I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?