We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting