lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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