In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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