i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
