I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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