I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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