Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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