kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
