and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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