you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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