I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize