So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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