You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize