My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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